Someone sent me this joke and I decided to share.
It goes like this.
Singapore's Future Card
The multi-purpose Future Card will be the version of our NRIC in the near future. With an embedded smart chip, it can also be used as a passport, store our medical history, driver's license, act as an ATM card, serve as an electronic purse and even be used at the National Library...whatever you do with the card... you will be tracked!
Lady: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your...
Man: Haloh! Pisar Hut-ah? Can I order-ah?
Lady: Can I have your Future Card number, sir?
Lady: Can I have your Future Card number, sir?
Man: It's arh... hold on prease... arh... it's 790230-88-5551.
Lady: Thank you, Mr. Tan Ah Beng. You’re calling from Block 345, Teck Whye Ave, #41-1522. Your home number is 6788988, your office number is 6912788 and your mobile is 96788688. Which number are you calling from?
Man: Home-lah, wah, where you get all my phone numbers-ah?
Lady: We are connected to the Future Card system, sir.
Lady: We are connected to the Future Card system, sir.
Man: OK-lah, OK-lah, can I order your seafood pisar?
Lady: That's not a good idea, sir.
Man: Why cannot-ah?
Man: Why cannot-ah?
Lady: According to your latest medical records, you have high blood pressure and high cholesterol level, sir.
Man: What? Wah-lau-eh... medical records also you know. So what you lecomend?
Lady: Try our low fat Hokkien mee pizza, I'm sure you'll like it, sir.
Man: Wah, how you know I like Hokkien mee-ah?
Lady: You borrowed a book titled ‘Popular Hokkien Dishes’ from the National Library last week, sir.
Man: OK, OK, beh-ta-han. Give me three family size pisar. How much-ah?
Lady:That should be enough for your family of 10. The total is $45. How would you like to pay?
Man: I pay by Future Card, can or not?
Lady: I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, sir.
Man: Why?!
Lady: I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, sir.
Man: Why?!
Lady: Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $6,720.55 since October last year, sir.
Man: Ka-nee-nah... everything also know, chia-lat!
Lady: That's not including the late charges of your housing loan, sir.
Man: Ka-nee-nah... everything also know, chia-lat!
Lady: That's not including the late charges of your housing loan, sir.
Man: OK-lah, I run to ATM to take cash before you come to my house-loh.
Lady: You can't sir, based on the records, you've reached the daily limit on machine withdrawal today.
Man: What?!
Lady: The latest withdrawal is $150 for 4D and Toto at 4:56pm, sir.
Man: Never mind, just send the pisar. I borrow money from my Ah Mah. How long-ah?
Lady: The latest withdrawal is $150 for 4D and Toto at 4:56pm, sir.
Man: Never mind, just send the pisar. I borrow money from my Ah Mah. How long-ah?
Lady: 45 minutes, sir. But if you can't wait you can collect it with your motorcycle. You are only 5 minutes away.
Man: Where got transport?
Lady: According to your Future Card, you own a Honda scooter, registration number FE 3288...
Lady: According to your Future Card, you own a Honda scooter, registration number FE 3288...
Man: Ka-nee-nah!
Lady: Better watch your language, sir.
Man: Why should I?
Lady: Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...
Man: Why should I?
Lady: Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...
Man: *[ugh}*
Lady: Is there anything else, sir?
Lady: Is there anything else, sir?
Man: Nothing. By the way, please remember to give me the 3 bottles of free Coke as advertised?
Lady: We would, sir. But based on the records, you are also diabetic...
Man: I'm going to the hawker centre to tah-pao. Pisar no stock.
Hope you all will find it interesting. =)